1. Think, Speak and Act like an adult to be treated like one
‘Step Up’ to more responsibilities. This will change your relationship with your parents so that instead of it being ‘parent to child’ it becomes ‘adult to young adult’. If you do this – they will ‘Step Aside’ and give you more freedom and room to move!
2. To stay out of trouble don’t be where trouble is!
Put healthy boundaries around yourself. Don’t be in the wrong place with the wrong people doing activities that will go ‘belly up’. Nothing good happens after midnight. The eating, drinking, story telling and dancing has all been done. The later it gets the more likely you’re hanging with drunk, bored and angry people looking for danger.
3. Don’t wish your problems were smaller or that life was easier
Instead, grow yourself and increase your ability to deal with ‘real life’.
Put good things into your head by what you read, what you watch, what you listen to and by the games you play.
Practice self-discipline or pushing forward into what you need to do. This will toughen you up create resilience and lead to achievement. On the other hand you’ll need to get good at self-control or holding back, which will keep you from harm. You need both in good measure to tackle life.
4. Strive to become competitive with good character
You need to be able to strut your stuff – be the one chosen because you showed up as the best. But remember to develop your character along the way so you can be proud of the person you are becoming. Become a host in the world and not a guest. Be more concerned with what you are giving to it than what you are taking. Instead of asking, what’s in it for me – how about asking – ‘What’s in me for you?’
5. Don’t let success go to your head nor failure to your heart
Life is a series of wins and losses and often you will experience both simultaneously. Stay hungry for success humble in heart and courageous in all situations so that you will treat both success and failure as temporary and neither will take you off course in life.
6. Sex without Commitment is like Tomato Sauce without a Pie
Slow down! Build your relationship as if in a Crockpot and not a microwave so that you wont become emotionally burnt out and romantically used up. Test the relationship as you go. Decide if you have enough in common including your values, before you give your all to anyone and everyone who wants it.
Parents Tips
1. Love intentionally and not just Emotionally
You need to do this because in 25 – 30 years time your young adult kids will be running the world. They could be making decisions for you.
So, start with the end in mind. Visualise your kids doing well as adults – successful in their work and happy in their personal lives. See them as young men and women of impeccable character who are shaping and influencing their families, communities and country.
2. Be Fair, Be Clear, and put it in writing
Take the opportunity while your kids are still dependent on you to prepare them to live away from home. Involve them in the running of the home.
Contribution brings ownership and in turn pride and confidence. But, don’t be vague and then nag all day! Download the Living Optimally Document from Miomo.com and get everybody sharing the load.
3. Unite to become an effective parenting unit
It’s hard to agree on the way to parent. Most parents were raised differently from one another and yet are expected to parent the same way. Around half of our parents don’t live under the same roof. None-the-less sticking together is still the best way to show love. Don’t let your kids divide you – it weakens both your relationship and their sense of security.
4. Move from control to influence and from nurturing to empowering
From the day that kid was conceived you were given the authority and the responsibility to equip them through to adulthood. Your young adult is moving into a bigger space on almost a daily basis.
Lead your kids purposefully – create an atmosphere where they can ‘step up’ and you learn to ‘step aside’. Make the hard calls. Micromanage less and expect more. Allow them to take the consequences of their decisions and behaviour. Help them if the situation is dangerous or if there are children involved. But for the most part – let them develop their own wisdom – you had to!
5. Keep a track of the money they owe you
Ten dollars here, twenty dollars there! It all adds up. Young people have a knack of conning money from their parents – promising to pay it back but rarely doing so. Why? Because parents can’t remember how much they loaned.
Giving your kids money to keep the peace is a poor but effective way of teaching children how not to disrespect money or you. Whatever we respect we attract and whatever we disrespect we repel. Instead encourage them to get a part -time job and learn to live on a budget.